Monday, November 26, 2007

Marriage.. umm.. marriage.. its a beautiful institution.. when 2 people (or their families) decide to spend their lifetimes together then their union is termed as marriage..

its the final celebration of love.. the union of 2 individual souls and lives conjoining into one single existence. Ideally a married couple should act and be like the same person.. they shud merge and become like one conscious. It is then and only then that a marriage can be a successful and happy union.

In life we get to hear so many incidents and occurrences. But an average man hears about it from a distance, with hardly any of these touching him or people close to him. Yesterday an incident took place but it was not distant to me. The incident has touched me and has shaken me and aroused lots of emotions within me which i have not felt before. One of my closest friends got married.

U ask, Y it shook me?

Yes, marriage is a nice healthy affair for society, its a gloriously happy moment touching everyone near the couple in the spotlight and their close and dear ones. Its the start of a new life, the beginning of a whole new part in the book of life. But still it shook me. My friend who got married was.. correction is.. a very close friend, one whom i hold in high esteem and one who is very close me, more than she realises. She is like a beautiful jewel in a crown sparkling brighter than a hundred suns.. she is a friend whose friendship i treasure with my heart.. NO NO, now dont get the wrong idea... I'm talking about a friend and i mean just a friend, nothing more.

Sneha... Its a new unexpected beginning for you. A whole new chapter has begun in your life. A chapter filled with lots of fun-filled happenings. And lots of stuff to look forward to. You have a chance to begin afresh, to begin a new life leaving your past behind, forgetting your mistakes and beginning anew, in a different place, a different atmosphere with different opportunities. You are a jewel shining bright, never lose your shine, that is wat makes you who you are. Always be urself. Never change. You are as close to perfection as humans can ever be.

You have now embarked on a new journey. i wish you a hearty Bon Voyage.

May god bless you with ever lasting happiness.

May the people you meet realise the jewel in you as i have come to recognise it.

All the best on the road ahead my dear friend. I hope our paths meet and keep meeting.

Many Many Congratulations.




I Dedicate this post to my dear dear friend Sneha. Keep smiling and shining bright. :)
Marriage.. umm.. marriage.. its a beautiful institution.. when 2 people (or their families) decide to spend their lifetimes together then their union is termed as marriage.. its the final celebration of love.. the union of 2 individual souls and lives conjoining into one single existence. Ideally a married couple should act and be like the same person.. they shud merge and become like one conscious. It is then and only then that a marriage can be a successful and happy union.

In life we get to hear so many incidents and occurrences. But an average man hears about it from a distance, with hardly any of these touching him or people close to him. Yesterday an incident took place but it was not distant to me. The incident has touched me and has shaken me and aroused lots of emotions within me which i have not felt before. One of my closest friends got married. U ask, Y it shook me? yes, marriage is a nice healthy affair for society, its a gloriously happy moment touching everyone near the couple in the spotlight and their close and dear ones. But still it shook me. My friend who got married was.. correction is.. a very close friend, one whom i hold in high esteem and one who is very close me, more than she realises. She is like a this beautiful jewel in a crown sparkling brighter than a hundred suns.. she is a friend whose friendship i treasure.. NO NO, now don't get the wrong idea... I'm talking about a friend and i mean just a friend, nothing more.

Her happy conjugation just made me realise that how close to my life, all these incidents have become. I can recall a time when they seemed amazingly far away. A happening i could be least worried about. A time when i laughed, played and thoroughly enjoyed myself in weddings. I never realised that one day it would creep on me and i'd see my friends would start thinking as well as getting married. It always seemed a distant thought, but now its close and people who r close to me have started to get married, and while i'm happy and glad for them, i'm also in a confused state. No, i wudn't say confused; its more like i'm feeling afraid.. takenaback.. totally surprised and also confused.

I dont know why i also feel like i've lost something. Her marriage has now re-defined our friendship and it would never be the same again. I know she'll still be my friend and hopefully still see me as close a friend as she saw me till now, but i know that everything is different now.. there are new boundaries formed. Higher fences put up that can't be scaled. More topics that cant be spoken about and also new politics have come into play.

This will happen with all other friends as they start getting married one by one. The queue has reached my generation and the distance is getting smaller and smaller. Why am i afraid? Is it becoz i fear that once all my friends get married i'd be left alone? or is it becoz i know i will not withstand the marriage of one other friend?

I do not know what i fear, but fear right now is the prevalent and the most over powering emotion filling me. Am i afraid of change? i dont think so. Whatever anyone mite say, change is not what i fear. I think i have an idea about what i fear, but i cant state it explicitly over here. If you r an intelligent person, you mite be able to figure it out. Its not so hard. the clues are openly visible.

Anyways, i'm not afraid of marriage, its a good thing to happen, to me to you or anyone. Sneha i know you u know what the clues lead to, but you've decided your course in life. There is no turning back now. But i can think over my course again and again. God willing i'll chose the rite one.



-->> SJ

Monday, June 11, 2007

Hello ppl!!

Its been ages since i've written anything here... well the current updates are that i'm a graduate now!! yahooo!! hurrah!! finally college has officially gotten over and i'm done with exams. now what lies in front of me is a job and whatever i can make out of my future. i have some hopes of going abroad and studying in an A grade institution. i shall try my very best to make it a reality.

well 3 years in bangalore have been an unbelievable and priceless experience for me. i've learnt much more in the span of these three years than i did in the 19 yrs in cal. Now when i look back to 1st year when i first came to bangalore i see a lil kid walking into college for the first time full of hope and pureness of spirit. Not that i'm not pure of spirit now.. its just that i've learned that the world is not all good and people can be horrible without a reason also.

Anyways, its been a roller coaster ride through 3 years in christ college having lots of ups and downs.. some downs(i think u can guess which one) were really hard but i'm glad that those happened as now i have better control over myself. though many of my ideas still need to improve and mature a bit but still i have grown a lot... come on nobody is perfect!! 3rd semester was the main growing point for me and i realised that if some stuff doesnt happen its not the end all. life goes on and we gotta keep on living till the end.

well 3 years are over and it all seems like a flash. i remember thinking what it wud feel like to be graduating from college and now i know. its a whole new chapter in life presenting endless oppurtunities. well thats wat i feel like now we'll see what happns in a couple of years.

one thing i hoped wud happen when i joined college was to find a best friend. someone (gal or boy doesnt matter) with i cud be best pals. it would be nice to actually experience a friendship hat close atleast once in life. but alas it dint happen but what the hell thats life and as i said before, it goes on and on.

well anyways, now after college i'm tryin to find a great job with an excellent job profile where i'll be doin actual quality work and learning loads and loads and ofcourse not to forget a great pay.. ok pay mite not be that great but it should be a decent one say around 25-30gs a month minimum starting, coz u see i got some personal aims to fulfill. My dream job rite now would be an oppurtunity to become a CEO of a company.. not a very big company but a small or mid sized one will do so that i can put in my ideas and build it bigger and bigger. You its a very funny thing. whenevr i think about heading a company now i know that yes i can do it rite now without needing any training. it feels like that would be my element where i'll be able to work and fit in perfectly.

but thats my dream my job i always hope that a miracle happens and somebody realises that yes this kid has it in him to be a person like that. but then thats a dream and hope. who knows if it would be fulfilled or not. i sure hope it does. but till then i'm ready to settle down in a good job in a god company and i dont mean working in a KPO or BPO.. i mean doing really productive work for an investment firm or in corporate banking or helping with M&As or in investment banking. it would also be interesting to work as an industry analyst but i expect that requires huge amount of training and experience. Well if anyone has an opening please do contact me.. i'm eager to work in a good job and ready to locate to any part of the world. so people please do drop me a mail.

hmmm... so what else.. well currently i'm sitting at home enjoying uselessness and joblessness.. just chilling out in the holidays after exams before i join a job.

so i'm now gonna sign off.. u ppl probably are already getting bored reading such a long blog..

well have a good time..
cya..
alividerci

p.s. if someone is really interested in hiring a self-motivated employee please feel free to mail me

Sunday, April 8, 2007

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”

i found this quote when i was searchin online for some love quotes to help a frnd make up with his gf. wat i found intersting in this is thats its perfectly true... to add on to this it hurts a whole lot more when that girl is a lot like the girl of ur dreams!!

how i know this.. is coz of the fact that it has happnd to me. i never did tell her anything.. i thot our frndship will get spoilt if i ever did tell her. in the end she became somebody else's and all i do now is watch her walk away arm in arm wit another person who i know and can tell is not worth her. she deserves better and i might add she deseves better than me.

i know all u readers are thinking that its jealousy that making me say that he isn't worth her but i can safely assure u readers that it is not jealousy. i know both of them and can make an intelligent judgement without being biased by my feelings.

its been over a year now that she walked away from me (alone at that time) and i've become kinda used to that fact. but wat i cant reconcile with is the fact that i had a chance and i blew it and now i'm afraid that the opportunity will never present itself again. i did get over her for a time being but whenever i look at her i see the opportunity that i missed. this is one of the many things i will regret for my whole life.

everytime i see her i see what i liked about her. everytime i see her i feel something i miss. everytime i see her i feel a deep hole in me. everytime i see her i miss her.

even though i regret not telling her something good did come about it. i grew up in the process of trying to get over. before i was a naive kid but as i tried to get over her and as time passed in the process i grew up. i became a much more mature person. it was a reality shock which woke me up to face the real world. before i was living in a world of my own. but now everyday i learn something. everyday i learn how cruel the world can really be and if u dont look out for urself then there is noone however close they are who'll look out for you.

the world has degenerated into a place where only the selfish and merciless people survive happily. everyone derives happiness from hurting others however badly. they all want to be one above the rest. its true that its a dog eat dog world. but people dont realise thats the saying says dog it sog and not people eat people.

if you dont go ahead to get wat u want stepping over other people if you have to an individual will always be sad and alone even when that person has friends. well i guess thats why this age is called "Kalyug" in the vedas.

well anyways, if you ever like someone then even if u have to risk losing him/her do it. atleast you wont have the regret of not trying.

have a happy life..
alividerci..

Who am i??

Ever had the feeling of not knowing what u r supposed to do in life..

ever felt lost - not knowing how to occupy ur time or what to do that will attract ur interest completely..

ever felt as if there is no one in this world who actually wants to stay in touch or interact with u..

ever had the feeling that no matter how much u try to make a difference u can never touch peoples' lives in that special way u have always wanted to..

ever felt that Goo Goo Dolls' song "iris" matches so much with ur feelings that it touches ur heart instantly...

" And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am "


Dedication
- for all those lost in the maze of life
- for all those disillusioned by the hypocrisy of this world
- for all those who don't know who the hell they are