The strong cold current of air feels so nice as it hits my face and body. The tail of my shirt flapping and moving as the strong currents of air bully it around. i close my eyes, spread my arms wide and tilt my head up as i feel the wind hit my body. I dont mind the coldness as i'm accustomed to cold, with eveything in my life being so cold that ice would feel like fire in comparison. I open my eyes and stare at the sky:

Is there someone looking after us?
Is there a god up there who decides how our life would fare and what our destiny would be?

Is this my destiny? to stand up here at the edge of the terrace and wonder about my wintery life. I feel like screaming out: "Have you not tired as yet? Have I not entertained thee enough in 22 yrs or Is there anything more in store for me?"

I look down.

Its a 5 storey drop to the ground. I wonder what it would feel like to have the wind whistling in my ears. What it would feel like to be oblivious to existence and creation? Would it be nice not to have any regrets or disappointments?

I wud be at peace. I wud be alone.

But that wudn't be much of a difference from now. I'm alone even now when i'm alive, when i live amongst a nonsensical, whimsical and hypocritical race called Humans. Yes, i'm alone now. However much i try to make a difference. However much i try to be good and touch the heart of others and make true friends, somewhere along the line, even the closest of friends break my trust and belief and leave me alone. They make me realise that companionship, belief, trust, loyalty etc.. are just things belonging to fiction and movies. They don't really exist in the world. A world in which there are so many people that it wud be extremely difficult to actually exist alone, and yet here i am, my lonesome self, with not a soul who would turn and notice my absence.

I guess there has to be someone like me, so that god could compare and tell other people "be thankful, ur life isn't as bad as his".

-->>SJ